At the beginning of 2020, even before the pandemic, I noticed a change in my mental health. My state slowly declined further and resulted in six months of absolute hell for myself and my family as I battled with the invisible illness of anxiety and depression.
I was no stranger to depression, or so I believed, having been told I'd had it on and off since my teenage years, but the anxiety was I found a new, more terrifying enemy.
After numerous panic attacks (which I had never suffered with until now), almost being sectioned (twice), I was beginning to feel slightly better by September.
Now over twelve months on, I still struggle daily, but I have come to accept it as part of who I am and try to co-exist with my demons as best I can.
Winston Churchill described his battle with depression as an angry, aggressive black dog, tough to control but manageable when handled correctly.
'Black Dog' is a new poem I worked on this last week (while isolating as my daughter had covid). Although dark, as befits its gothic stylisation, I hope it gives insight to those who have not experienced the 'Black Dog' just how it feels when it stares you in the face. For those who have felt like this, I hope it shows you that you are not alone with your thoughts; there are many of us out there – but you can win and be free!
Steven K Beattie's blogs. Ranging from news regarding his latest projects to general topics of discussion.